![The media file [Christian] is by CallahanFreet.](/artists/christian/christian_head_hu_1d46fe22822c45a2.webp)
There was a time when flat, open water was death and fear kept me from it. I was ten then, but the memory remains.
It’s funny how I’ve aged. Even 15 years ago, I never considered what life would be at 50. That seems crazy now. To look back and realize the brevity of that duration feels awkward: at 35 I couldn’t imagine into the future what seems now like yesterday… what does that even mean?
![The media file [Memories] is by CallahanFreet.](/works/52weeks/2025/0921/20250907_hu_3b7ab9565a9ef1be.webp)
Nowadays, outside of its natural beauty and environmental value, the ocean means nothing to me. That fear subsided with a little discipline and open-water swimming — the faded dread at least serves as a landmark, like the rest of my flaws.
How does anyone live in relation to the past? Thinking requires energy, both physical and mental — so why are old thoughts so difficult to avoid. It is an old trope, to be honest, overused in its simplicity. Trivia is like that.
More important is learning to relax and let go because all the fear from a million years ago means nothing, anyway. Time takes care of all.