Sometimes when my personal journal is so poignant, I dump it here in this project. Last night’s entry was, so it qualifies:

More than anything else, today is probably about returning to a normal routine. I logged 12 miles and felt better in two consecutive 11/12 mile days than I can remember, feeling like I could easily continue the rhythm. But I won’t. Tomorrow is a rest day of 8 miles and lifting.

This week self-care is an unmentioned theme. Really that only means paying closer attention to what’s going on in this head and understanding the feedback from my body as I’m running a hell of a lot more than the last 6 months.

Intentionality is really the key since, if I’m listening, I must somehow use the internal feedback — otherwise the attention given to it is wasted. And I think that is the point worth stressing: listening to my self and myself is basically only a process for the refinement of focus. And, in case you haven’t made the connection, that moment-to-moment practice serves nearly the exact function this journal does.

Direction of attention to some goal is not really to the service of the goal, but instead a means for a continuous passive meditation to exclude the outside world. I think if I’m doing it right, I would select the maximum life behaviors that serve the same purpose.

While I was showering an insight came to me about why she means so much. A lot of our relationship is about understanding the two people we each are: the person we express, and the person into which we want to grow. She loves both of those people in me, and that makes direction more bearable.