We are merely bolting our lives — gulping down undigested experiences as fast as we can stuff them in — because awareness of our own existence is so superficial and so narrow that nothing seems to us more boring than simple being.

Sometimes I feel as though I am fighting my own thoughts to be sane. Disputes aren’t as frequent as they used to be, but I still wonder about the origin of some of my words. And my analysis is always in retrospect.

Recently I read that the mind is the most dangerous thing in life because it is without sense yet speaks and causes action. I believe it. Those words really resonated with me, especially because we talk so much about mindfulness and remaining aware of our privilege.

It took me over forty years to realize there is an obvious disconnect between each of our perspective and the real-world timeline, whatever that is. We are out of sync with reality because we don’t think about it — but our mind does. We simply react to the world by its programming, and our greater connectivity means we are able to think less.

Although I grew up believing the illusion of reality, I don’t want to live this way anymore. I would rather think than allow my mind to act. Maybe that’s why I have been so poor at communication.

Social input feels like an overwhelming roar drowning out the whisper of intentional thinking. That is, until you realize this. Then, the world simply fades away.

Boredom is the answer, but it is a difficult tool. To use it, I must realize my entitlement — otherwise, I risk believing what I hear from the world. But how can anyone think calmly enough to have such awareness when now the mind receives so much outside information?