Even though I tell myself this project should be a priority, there is always a period during every year of producing it when we publish late. The only thing different this year is that I’ve now brought the latent issue into the project to be a part of it.

At such an advanced stage of life, how it is possible that I continually ignore decisions I’ve already made? Is it because they aren’t always the best ones? And does that mean I do not trust myself? Because in a way I don’t. I know I’ve made stupid decisions before, and I feel like following intuition is a poor habit for me.

That’s the only reason I continue with this — the eagerness to stop writing must mean there is more to learn from this project. I just have to be comfortable with getting rid of the boundaries and let it have a life of its own.