There's a fault in my structure / It's always you and never me / I threw the blame and it shattered / And now there's broken glass praying to be healed

When I began heavily contemplating how I became the present version of myself, I was interested in the education and the challenge of the thought process. I just wanted to learn where I came from by connecting the dots that I could remember. After all, how much could I expect to learn by recycling my childhood and writing about it for a year in my journal?

Turns out there was a lot to uncover. But the thing is, almost none of my discoveries were real. I’ve always known my mistakes were mistakes. I have always been aware of my own imperfections. What did change was my willingness to accept it all — something I avoided because it hurt so much to consider I was wrong for seeking the comfort of becoming my parents.

So, how do I end the cycle? I think awareness of it is a good start. And, communication is an aspect because history is important when you are living within it. But most of all, I want him to know emotions are not for guidance because they lead us in circles. I wasted half my life on that misunderstanding; hopefully he will do better.

He will be better.