You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Forty years passed before I understood that being fulfilled only requires an active role in living, but it was only after realizing we all face the same insignificance that I was able to thrive without giving a damn about you or anyone else. And, now I am am joyful because I don’t care, and I feel closer to everything because of that particular apathy.
We are not entitled to anything. Being alive does not give us the right to feel or behave, so hoping for a condition, whatever it may be, is a total waste of time. If you want something, stop wanting it. When you react, don’t. Yes, life is that simple: just go do it.