Lovemaking. Besides the obvious definition it is also “the act of courtship and wooing”, so says the dictionary.

Woo: to seek the affection or love of someone.

Years ago I cut my hand so I didn’t want to get it wet. I literally can’t remember what I did. We say we were “just friends” at the time, but there had to have been some kind of seed already planted. I cared about him, but “not in that way,” is what I’d always tell myself. We were always together — best friends for a reason.

Naturally, when no one else wanted to help, I asked if he’d help me wash my hair between visits for loc maintenance. I didn’t know he was nervous. Not sure I’ve ever known when he’s been nervous.

It was a sweet first interaction. I literally had to keep prompting him that he’d actually have to put forth some vigor if he was going to actually do any good for my newly forming locs. He kept asking if the water was ok or if he was hurting me. We talk about that moment often.

Now years later it’s a comforting thing when he washes my hair. Intimate. Our life isn’t perfect even when people try to tell us it is. We have to cleanse and wash away like everyone else.

This is our growth.